Strategies to cope with the fear of missing out (FOMO)
With the weather warming up, this means people will leave their warm homes and venture outdoors. As we come out of our winter hibernations, we start to prepare ourselves for yet another type of storm. The one that occurs on TikTok, Instagram or Snapchat, with friends and influencers posting their fun spring activities!
You start making plans with your friends and if you have nothing planned, you start to think that you NEED to do something fun and worth posting about. With all the comparison and peer pressure, it can be hard to decide what YOU really want to do and even harder to silence the noise of others to do the ones most important activities to you, all due to the fear of missing out.
In the words of journalist Jean Chatzky: “It’s not about having it all. It’s about having what you value most.”
There is this urgent need to meet the expectations you create in your own head from what you see on social media, where people portray their so called ‘picture-perfect’ lives. But in no way is the ‘picture perfect’ post accurate in real life or even applicable to your current situation. That person could be an influencer who makes a living out of travelling or posting about their hobbies while you might be in a completely different trajectory in your life. However, in the age of technology, while being constantly exposed to what everyone’s doing, it is not uncommon to feel this way.
FOMO can loom large on you when you see your friends having a great time at a party you weren’t invited to or were forced to turn down due to personal reasons, or your co-workers going out after work without you. It can cause you to routinely check your phone for any notifications about hangout invitations or voluntarily sign up for activities knowing that you might end up cancelling anyways due to your busy work or school schedule.
Recent research on FOMO, and its association with interpersonal relationships and the need for acceptance, has associated it with:
Sleep disturbances
Social anxiety
Depression and
Decline in academic performance
FOMO can become a vicious cycle that you may want to get out of but find yourself slipping back into it. However, it is not impossible to break this cycle and there are several things you can do to help keep it in check:
Restrict screen time: Research has shown that restricting the amount of time you spend on your phone, and specifically on social media, is a helpful preventative technique.
Develop connections you value the most: It is easier to get entangled in the web of social media but spending more time there is only going to make you feel worse. Instead, make plans with or call a friend you value and feel connected with. Real, strong connections are more valuable than something that is temporary and fake.
Learn to say no: Sometimes you have to put your mental health first and that could look like not going to every event or party you were invited to. Having the courage to say no will not only help you take back control of your life, but will allow you to live one that is more aligned with your values and instill self-confidence.
Remind yourself to be grateful: Shifting your focus to an abundance mindset can reveal to you how much you already have.
Go on a self-discovery journey: The grass is always greener on the other side, but it doesn’t have to look exactly like the grass on your side. No two lives look the same, just like no two people are the same. Recognize what makes you happy, what you are passionate about and work on doing more of that.
References
Gupta M, Sharma A. Fear of missing out: A brief overview of origin, theoretical underpinnings and relationship with mental health. World J Clin Cases 2021; 9(19): 4881-4889 [PMID: 34307542 DOI: 10.12998/wjcc.v9.i19.4881]
